'My parents disapproved of him': Woman sets her judgemental parents straight by disclosing how much her fiancé's construction company earns, upsetting both parties

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    Sky - "AITA for telling my family how much my fiancé earns after years of them making fun of his job?" V histo
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    Font - AITA for telling my family how much my fiancé earns after years of them making fun of his job? My family is very well educated and full of professionals including several doctors, surgeons, dentists, etc. I have a good career and make a good living. When I met my fiancé, he was at my house to supervise a roofing crew the insurance company hired to replace my damaged roof. I instantly fell for him when he pulled up in his truck and couldn't keep my eyes off of him for the rest of the day a
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    Font - about his job and I just chalked it up to him being insecure about me having a better career. I didn't care about our income imbalance. When we got serious, we talked about our future plans and that was when he told me the full extent of his little construction company. I was shocked that his construction earnings is as much as my dad's surgeon salary. Gradually he took me around to the handful of construction lots and shopping centers he owns. His rental income combined with his construc
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    Font - My parents disapproved of him since the 1st time I brought him home. My dad coined the term "tool boy" and the rest of my family joined in whenever they talk behind my fiancé's back. They don't call him that to his face but instead make snide remarks. Once my mom said during dinner that they're thinking about hiring someone to mow their lawn then turned to my fiancé and asked him
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    Font - what he charges. I always try to defend him and it's a constant battle. It's gotten worse since we're planning our wedding and the other day my nerves just broke. Yesterday parents were trying to get me into getting prenuptial then my dad said, "you have to protect your assets just in case tool boy decides to go slumming."
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    Font - I lost it and yelled at my parents. During our shouting, I blurted out his earnings and that he makes more than both of them combined then I stormed out. I told my fiancé what happened but instead of supporting me, he got mad that I told his parents that. I argued that I was defending him then we got into an argument.
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    Font - My parents and family are mad at me for keeping secrets. My fiancé is mad at me for not keeping secrets. I'm stuck in the middle and don't know what to do.
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    Font - OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the ale: 1. I told my parents how much my fiancé earns 2. He told me along time ago to keep what I know about his finances a secret from everyone
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    Font - monsteramoons Sounds like your husband likes to build relationships on foundations and merits outside of his finances. Meanwhile your family looks down on anyone they deem lesser earners than themselves. I know who's corner I'd be in.
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    Font - Apologize to your husband and tell your family to stuff it. Sorry, but YTA. There are plenty of other things you could have said to illustrate how fung horrible your family was being. You didn't have to throw out numbers. Now, if you family starts acting better, he'll always know it's on the basis of his earnings, not his character.
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    Font - Edit: And husband will always know that your knee-jerk reaction was to be like, "BUT HE DOES MAKE MONEY" rather than "Who cares what he makes? He MAKES me happy! He takes care of me! He treats me! We're good partners with the same life goals! We love each other! Support that or shut up!!!" ↑ 15.1k Reply Share
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    Font - ArmadsDranzer. 8 hr. ago Yeah OP dropping how much her fiance makes to tell off her family seems unlikely to improve their relationship. Odds are good the family will still look down on him anyway and now OP can't be trusted to keep his secrets. ✩ 2.9k Reply Share
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    Font - Y&H Allaboutbird 8 hr. ago YTA. You love your fiance, and of course it hurts when your parents make fun of him, but be honest- you didn't do this to defend him. You did it to defend yourself and your choice to marry him. You knew that he doesn't want people to know about his finances so clearly betraying that trust wasn't a favor to him.
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    Font - Even if he made a lot less, he would still be a worthy human that you love. All you have done is reinforce the notion that it's okay for your parents to look down on "poor" folks, by letting them know that your fiance isn't one of the "poor folks." They honestly sound awful, and I can't believe your fiance has put up with this treatment for this long, and I can't believe you've allowed it to continue. 43.7k ↓ Reply Share
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    Font - _mmiggs 8 hr. ago Craptain [170] YTA Your fiancé told you how much he makes in confidence. You broke his trust because you were angry with your relatives. That makes you the clear ale. And then you doubled down and tried to claim that breaking his trust was OK because you were defending him. Here's the thing. Your family are snobbish ases, and will likely always be snobbish aOoles. Their opinion doesn't matter. You are marrying your fiancé. There is no "middle" - you're an adult and aren'
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    Font - makethatnoise YTA He's a grown man who can defend himself. If he wanted to defend himself to your family, he would have done so already, or made it well known how much he owns / makes when he met your family. He did not. He told you to keep what he owns and makes to himself, and you didn't. He has every right to be upset about that. You weren't defending him to your parents, you were defending yourself to your parents. If your parents act like this often, why do you see them? 719 Reply Sh
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    Font - Allen_and_Ginter YTA for disclosing private info without his approval. That said, your parents are the worst. If he has done nothing wrong to them then your parents just suck and are uppity, judgmental turds. I would not invite them to the wedding. You should tell them that the disrespect is unacceptable. However, even if they change with him, people that act like that are usually that way all the way to their core... 376 Reply Share ●●●.
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    Font - Special Lychee_68478 hr. ago Soft YTA It's a constant frustration with your parents. You could have been vague and said something like a prenup would protect him more than you. But in the end, you should have made your family stop acting like bullying snobs. Your fiance specifically told you not to tell anyone his income. He was probably secretly enjoying your parents being snobs, not knowing the truth. 315 Reply Share ●●●
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    Font - Ok-Ebb44858 hr. ago Sorry OP, but YTA for two reasons. First, you did exactly what he asked you not to. Second, and far more importantly, you have not cut off contact with your idiot blood relatives. They don't deserve to have any kind of relationship with you and your fiancé. 193 Reply Share
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    Font - fancythat012 8 hr. ago ESH. Your parents are big snobs, and I can understand the frustration you felt because of how they spoke about your fiancé. That must have rankled a lot. However, you still should have respected your finance's wishes about not divulging how much he earns. On the other hand, the two of you should have discussed how the two of you are gonna handle how your parents treat, speak about him long before you planned to get married. As you said, you were put in the middle. 1

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